Don't Ask Stupid Questions If You Truely Feel Bothered About The Subject

Yesterday, I was a freaking idiot. I never thought seeing a picture of my special someone with his ex would hurt me so much. Yeah, I tried to cover up how I felt so I said things about her but, later, I had to go to the restroom to just let it out. Still trying to hide the fact that I was upset and crying, he came over to me, when i got out of the bathroom, and tried to talk to me. Which made everything worse. I didn't think it would even bother me. It normally doesn't. . We've only been together for such a short amount of time and it hurt me that much. I know we spend a lot of time together but I shouldn't feel this way this early. I hope that this isn't going to cause any problems in the future. I guess he now knows how much I feel since something that small hit me so hard. I know he won't ever go back to her. At least I hope. He's told me the stories but I hope he keeps to those stories. I pray the court date to finalize his dirorce comes VERY soon. Like I told him last night, when he's divorced it won't be as easy to get back with her like it would be right now. Since legally he's still married to her. Once he's divorced he'd have to go through the whole marraige stuff again. I hope this is the only time that I get upset through our relationship, at least it being about her.

Here's To The Girls!

What's so poignant about this picture?

Well, it shows a line of little girls holding hands facing the immensity of ocean waves.

Alone they might be washed away, but together they stand strong.

Thank you each for holding my hand somewhere along the way when I was facing a wave of my own. I hope you will reach for my hand when your own wave threatens.

All of us girls..

Old and young...

Near and far...

Hold special memories of good times we've shared.

We've had our share of hard times when our friends were there to make us feel better.

We've shared...

our hearts

our time

our secrets

our fears

our hopes

and our dreams.

Let us never break the chain of friends!

1 Someone will always be prettier.

Someone will always be smarter.

Their house will be bigger.

They will drive a better car.

Their children will do better in school.

And their husband will fix more things around the house.

So let it go, Be Happy!

And love yourself and your circumstances.

Think about it.

The prettiest woman in the world can have trouble in her heart.

And the most highly favoured woman on your job may be unable to have children.

And the richest woman you know, she's got the car, the house, the clothes....might be lonely. And the word says if 'I have not Love, I have nothing.'

So, again, love you.

Love who you are.

Look in the mirror in the morning and smile and say

'I am too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed!'

I like that!

'Winners make things happen.

Losers let things happen'

Be Blessed ladies and pass this on to encourage another woman.

'To the world you might be one person,

But to one person you just might be the world'.

SEND THIS TO YOUR FAVORITE WOMEN

Just Some Pictures I'd Like To Share

*Kenny's perfect blog picture*


*Mommy and son*


*A day at the playground*


*Father and Son time*

*He loves his little sister so much*




*Daddy's little girl*

*Jack*

*Dakota*



*Finally, my dearest little boy, Kenneth*

When You've Hit Bottom, You Can Only Go Up From There

After getting to the point of frustration and thinking that life just isn't going to go my way, something miraculous happened. Things started to get better. I got into online courses at University of Phoenix to persue a better life and prepare for our future. Along with that, got into a relationship, which so far has been wonderful and one of the best things that has happened to me in a long time. No it will never top having my son. I have oticed with this relationship that I am much happier all around. I'm use to not having anyone help me just to be kind and when HE came along, all i have to say is, " I've got to go get the _____" and he's already doing it. I didn't ask or demand, he just does it to do it. It's definately amazing. Yeah, it's only been a real short period of time but, it definately doesn't feel like it at all. I never thought with in 9 hours of not seeing him I would be anxious. That's just from him going to work. We have so much in common: the same out looks on life and interrests. Just last night he had asked me a simle little question. "Are you always polite or were you raised to be that way?" That ment a lot to me. We got to talking about it. In his past relationship, she wouldn't thank him once for doing even something so small to help her out. How could you not appreciate the person that you have. Well, I'm glad she didn't just because if she did, I wouldn't have him now. He's a great father to his two little ones and I absolutely adore them. There is so much that I can rant about but I'll save you some time. So, when things seem to be a little dreary, hold you head up high and look forward to tomorrow because It's a brand new day and anything could happen. Steve, if you're reading this, I appreciate you so much! Thanks for being in my life.

Friends Arn't Really Friends At All.

One thing I've learned, if you arn't in the area anymore, you lose your friends. Out of all the friends I've had maybe a handful still talk to me. I'm sorry If I'm not convieniently there for your time. I've always been such a great friend to everyone and been there for them no matter what. I recently put up a little servey and I went back and read it. My friends compaired me to their other friends and aparently they don't appreciate me. They just used me. It's rediculous. I also noticed that when I was pregnant everyone was acting if they were there for support but the minute I had him, gone.My biggest support that has been there for me even when we are apart is my sister. We've been tight for a good 5+ years. That's another story. We've had our hardships but it's just made us even closer.

You Fool!

Ok. Explain this to me. He calls after not talking in months and tells me he's thinking about divorcing his wife leading me to think he wants to be with me. We can only talk while he's working because his wife suspects him of cheating. Which, he's not, yet. He has plans on cheating. He proceeds to tell me that he'd rather have me on the side instead of not at all. I told him I'm tired of being the girl on the side. I want to be the girl or not at all. So once we have fun sending pictures and doing our thing for 2 days, he just all of a sudden is all ," I can't talk because she's now thinking I'm cheating and I'll have to text you when ever it's over." Ok idiot! Delete your messages she won't know. It's not like we're doing anything. Plus, if it wasn't for me telling him that i didnt want to be with him then, she wouldnt have him or his baby. The bitch needs to be appreciative. He needs to be a man and stop fucking around. He's the one that jumped into a marriage and didn't know her for longer than 4 months. Then got her pregnant before they were even married. All because he was in such a rush to have a family. Just because I said no doesn't mean go get hitched immediately. He only wanted it because I was 2 months pregnant and had hopes of having a family when he was interrested. So when that didn't work out as planned he's gone and done something stupid. The only good thing that came out of it was his son. I'm so sick of it. Don't fuck with me. I know i said no to him but that was because he was constantly wanting to see me and I need my space and I let him know that. I also was playing my game with other men. I was going through my game phase. SO, after him being married I was emotionally crushed. I told him the day of his elopement not to, that I'll be with him and he didn't listen. Now look at what he's going through. He didn't listen to me. I know what I'm talking about my brother did the same damn thing. To this day he's not happy. Yeah, I'm pissed due to the fact he wants to just use me. He doesn't want me for me. He wants my shit. Sorry babe, I'm not the same woman as before. If you want me, it better be for me. Its now for love not fun.

What The Hell?!

You know what I don't get? Why they hell the cost of living is rediculous when the average person doesn't make near enough to live comfortably. If the average person is living comfortably financially they arn't living comfortably in their neighborhood. I'm sitting here looking for apartments and homes for rent and everything i $995 and above for homes, and good apartments are $850+ with complimentary surround sound into you'e neighbors apartment. We're trying to find a home so the baby and the dog have a place to play and run around but, the houses I've been finding in our price range are ghetto. If i was able to get a job and not have to pay for a baby sitter every week then maybe we could live comfortably. I swear people just make it so damn hard. I mean having to go get approved through D.E.S. for medical assistance and financial aid is just rediculous. You should see the lines in that place. The many people that go through what i do everyday. I was very close to going with out diapers and formula for my son today for 2 weeks. What happened to the days where one person worked and could afford to feed their whole family and provide a roof over their heads? Now both parents have to have full time jobs or one has to work 3 jobs just to keep their home. Will the future president really do anything about this. Yeah, their giving out money to the people that don't make 75,000 a year but it's only 600 and that's not going to do much. That's not fixing the problem. Hell, a few years ago they said the same damn shit and they gave out 500 instead of 600 and left it at that. I feel like they arn't going to make a change and everything will just be as it is. Hell, will they even pull the troops out of Iraq?